Kissing Kendall Read online

  “Tell me about her.”

  It hurt to do it, but he did it anyway. “She was magic, Pop. If I’d imagined my perfect woman, she wouldn’t come close to Kendall. We have a shit ton in common and our chemistry…” He trailed off. Some subjects just weren’t for family. “It was unreal.”

  Pop studied him for a moment. “Lucas said she had to leave the cruise early. Some kind of family emergency.”

  Now Alex knew who to blame for this intervention. “Yeah.”

  “So what are you waiting for?”

  Alex frowned. “What are you talking about?”

  Pop leaned forward and spoke slowly as if talking to a child. “Go get your woman.”

  As if it was that easy. As if he hadn’t actually considered doing exactly that before he discarded it. Alex had little left but his pride at this point. If people walked away from him, he didn’t chase them, no matter how much their leaving hurt. Did his pride keep him warm at night? Fuck no. But at least he knew that he hadn’t debased himself for someone who didn’t give enough of a damn about him to stay. “When you chase down a woman who said she’d call and didn’t, that’s considered stalking and generally frowned upon.”

  Pop harrumphed. “Under normal circumstances, hell yeah. I would whoop your ass if I thought you were going after some woman who didn’t want it.”

  “You don’t know Kendall. You don’t know that she does want it.” Why was he even engaging in this argument? It didn’t matter what Pop thought. He wasn’t going after her. She hadn’t texted, called, sent a carrier pigeon. Easy enough to read in between the lines, and that said she enjoyed their time together but it was finished. End of story.

  Pop sat back. “Lucas said her brother-in-law died. Apparently it was a stroke or something like that.” He narrowed his eyes. “And her older sister, the new widow, is pregnant.”

  The knowledge shuddered around Alex. He cleared his throat. “Lucas seems to have a whole hell of a lot of information.”

  “Guess he’s dating one of her friends. Nice boy from what I understand.” Pop gave a brief smile. “But we’re not talking about him. We’re talking about you and your stubborn pride. Your woman needs you and you’re sitting here, feeling sorry for yourself. I didn’t raise you to be this selfish.”

  “Selfish?” Alex started to push to his feet and cut off the motion to slouch back in his chair. “It’s not being selfish to prioritize the company you spent your entire adult life building to the successful business that it is. The pillar of the community, though they’d never call it that. Pop’s is important. I’m needed here.”

  “Pop’s is a bar,” Pop said almost gently. “It’s a building. Four walls and some shit inside. You’ve done good work, Alex. No one will say otherwise. But I never wanted you to end up like me—married to the place. You’re too young for that shit, have too much living left to do.”

  “Pop’s needs me.” It will never leave me.

  “Kendall needs you.” Pop pushed slowly to his feet. “I’ll be in town for a week or two. There’s a flight out to Portland tonight if you decide to get over yourself before then.” He stopped. “I’m proud of you, kid. I’ve been proud of you this whole time. It’s not selfish to fight to find and hold onto happiness. Life is too short to do anything else.” He turned and walked out of the office, leaving Alex staring after him.

  He wanted to reject the words, to reject the knowledge of what Kendall was going through now. Easier to leave things black and white, cut and dried. She left, end of story.

  Except… it wasn’t the end of the story.

  He scrubbed his hands over his face. Her brother-in-law hadn’t survived. Her sister’s perfect life was on fire. Kendall would be right there in the middle of it, taking care of everyone around her. Would she take care of herself in the process? Nope. Of course not. Not unless someone intervened, and they’d all be too focused on her older sister to worry about her, especially if she didn’t show any outward signs of struggling.

  It was sheer lunacy to go to her. She drew her line in the sand, life events influencing that or not. If he showed up without an invitation, she’d reject him right to his face instead of with her silence. Alex pressed the heel of his hand to his chest. It fucking hurt now, with a little thread of what-if hanging before him. He couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to have that tiny possibility closed off.

  Still wrapped in his thoughts, he headed out into the main room to check on things. Cherry worked behind the bar, all smiles for the customers though she could cut a man off at the knees if he stepped out of line. The tables scattered through the rest of the room were half filled, and his guy who was working part time as he went through college flitted between them, easily taking orders from memory and balancing the food and drinks when he delivered them. Everything ran like a well-oiled machine.

  Normally, witnessing that was enough to warm Alex, to give him a deep sense of accomplishment. Yeah, he was still lonely, but he’d helped build this community and he took pride in that. Right now, all he felt was empty. The world didn’t shine quite as brightly when Kendall wasn’t in the room.

  What the fuck was he doing? Was he really going to let her go just because she hadn’t called him for help in the middle of a crisis? What the hell was wrong with him?

  Alex strode behind the bar and waited for Cherry to finish pouring three shots and distributing them. She turned to him, one pierced eyebrow raised. “Yes, boss?”

  “I’m going to be gone for a couple days. Maybe a week.” He hoped. “Pop’s in town if you need anything.”

  She rolled her eyes, but she smiled when she did it. “Don’t you know by now that we can mostly handle things without you?”

  “I’m beginning to see that.”

  “Finally.” She laughed and smacked his shoulder. “Get out of here. We have this covered. I’ll call if I need anything.”

  He couldn’t quite manage to make a joke about not burning the place down in his absence, but he gave a tight smile and left. A quick trip home to throw some stuff into an overnight bag and he was on his way to the airport. It wasn’t until he was actually sitting in the plane that the reality of what he was doing rolled over him. In a few hours, he’d see Kendall again. He didn’t know what that would look like, what would come of this. He didn’t know anything, but he was going to try.

  Pop was right—he’d never forgive himself if he didn’t.

  Kendall had never been so tired in her life. Between her and Marley, they’d managed to balance the tasks that came from seeing someone from death to burial. Going down the checklist she’d created felt morbid and reminded her of when her grandmother died, which dredged up more emotions she didn’t have the capacity to deal with right now. They’d helped Gretchen pick a plot in the cemetery—one in the same area as Ethan’s family going back generations—and the casket and the flowers and the pictures to use for the slideshow.

  Through it all, Gretchen was just… numb. It wouldn’t last. It couldn’t last. But it was like her brain had shut down parts of itself to see her through this, like the trauma of losing Ethan was too much for her to truly comprehend. Kendall and Marley took turns coaxing her to eat and ensuring she drank enough water, because if left to her own devices, she forgot both.

  If she lost this baby, too…

  No. Kendall would not think about that.

  She pulled on the same black dress she’d worn to Grams’s funeral years ago and gave her hair one last cursory look. Her appearance didn’t really matter, but she wouldn’t give the town gossips any more fuel than they already had. They’d never bothered her much before—she was too much a perfectionist, even as a child, to give them ammunition for their whispers—but she’d be damned before she added to Gretchen’s burden right now.

  Marley waited for her downstairs. Her dress was shorter than it had a right to be and she had full makeup on her face, right down to the brilliant red lipstick. She gave a tight smile at Kendall’s questioning look. “It’s just backup,
sis. I’ll give those assholes something to talk about that isn’t Gretchen.”

  She and Marley always had gone about things in different ways.

  Gretchen met them there. She was too pale, the circles beneath her eyes standing out starkly. Her hair hung down to her shoulders in a lank wave and she moved as if she were decades older than her thirty-four years. “I’m ready.”

  It happened quickly after that. They arrived at the funeral home and went through the motions of watching the slideshow. Gretchen held it together during her speech, though she had to stop multiple times. Other people stood up and told stories about Ethan. How he’d helped them, laughed with them, been one of the pillars of this community. Kendall found Gretchen’s hand and held it throughout, even as her sister’s grip tightened and tightened, as if she could squeeze out her pain.

  Then it was time to go to the grave site and do it all over again.

  By the time they made it back to the house for the wake, Gretchen was leaning heavily on her. She guided her older sister to a chair in the back corner of the living room and went to check on the food they’d spent all yesterday preparing. The doorbell rang and then it was off to the races. She fell into a rhythm quickly. Greet. Accept condolences. Direct them to the food. Check in with Marley to make sure Gretchen was doing okay. Repeat. Over and over again, until the house felt like it would burst at the seams. By the time people got their fill of the wake and began leaving, she was weaving on her feet.

  Just a little longer. Just hold it together a little longer.

  The doorbell rang.

  She closed her eyes and counted to five. She could do this one more time. Kendall took a deep breath that only shuddered a little and walked to the door. She pasted a smile on her face and opened it, but the words died on her lips when she found herself looking up at the man she never thought she’d see again. She blinked, but he didn’t disappear. “Alex?”

  “Hey, sweetheart.” He glanced past her into the house, his expression carefully blank. “What can I do to help?”

  With that single sentence, he dismantled anything she could have said. A simple offer of assistance she desperately needed. She swallowed past her suddenly dry throat. “Um, I need to put the food away.”

  “Show me.”

  She nodded shakily and led him into the house. Neither of them spoke as they started the process of putting the food away. Through it all, Kendall couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a fever dream, that it couldn’t possibly be real, that he couldn’t be here, helping her in silence without demanding an explanation for her not calling once in the last couple weeks.

  She put the last dish into the fridge. “Um, I need to check on my sister really quick.”

  “No rush.” Alex slipped his hands into his pockets and studied her. “Want me to wait outside?”

  “Maybe just wait here? There’s beer in the fridge.” She turned for the door and stopped. “And if Marley bursts in and starts interrogating you, just hold her off until I get back.”

  Alex raised his brows. “I’ve got it handled, sweetheart. Check on Gretchen.”

  She found Marley quietly closing the door to Gretchen’s room. She gave a tired half-smile as Kendall walked up. “I convinced her to lay down for a few, but I think she was asleep before I left the room.”

  “Good. She needs it.”

  “Yeah.” Marley glanced back at the closed door and her shoulders drooped. “We can’t leave her.”

  “I know.” Kendall nodded. “I already quit my job.”

  “I’m, uh, between jobs at the moment.”

  She laughed softly. “We’ll talk about the future tomorrow, okay? Figure out a plan.”

  “You and your plans.” Marley shook her head. “I need to get out of here for a little bit. Can you hold down the fort?”

  She thought of the man waiting for her in the kitchen. “Yeah, I have things covered until you get back.”

  “You’re the best.” Marley squeezed her arm and then she was gone, snatching the keys and disappearing through the front door.

  Kendall peeked into Gretchen’s room, but as promised, she was out cold. Then there was nothing else to do but go back to the kitchen where Alex waited for her. He sat at the nook table, a beer bottle in front of him. When he saw her walk through the door, he pushed to his feet. “Hey.”

  “Hey.” She worried her bottom lip, the events of the last few days—few weeks—suddenly too much to hold. “I have questions about your showing up here, but… Would it be okay if you just held me for a minute?”

  Alex’s expression went soft. “Come here.” She stepped into his arms and the second they closed around her, it was like her defenses crumbled. She clung to him and buried her face in his chest. Oh god, she was going to cry. Kendall started to push away, but Alex tightened his hug. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ve got you. You don’t have to be strong right now.”

  His words unraveled her. The tears came, hot and thick, and she sobbed until her throat felt just as ragged as her heart. Through it all, Alex held her close. He stroked her hair and murmured low words that wove a feeling of safety around them. For a second, she could almost believe that they’d all get through this, that it wasn’t really the end of Gretchen’s world, that Marley would be okay working through whatever was going on in her life, that Kendall hadn’t made a mistake when she threw all her life plans away.

  By the time she lifted her head and stepped back a little, she felt completely empty of grief for the first time since she walked into that hospital. It would be back. Of course it would be back. But in that moment, she actually felt better. “Thank you.”

  Alex brushed his thumbs across her cheekbones, wiping away the last of her tears. “Whatever you need, sweetheart. I’m here.”

  Selfish of her to consider her heart in the midst of all this loss, but she couldn’t help it. “I never called.”

  “You had other things on your mind.” He let his hands drop. “Do you want me to leave?”

  Was that a trick question? Kendall let out a broken laugh. “No, Alex. I really, really don’t want you to leave. I just… My sister needs me right now, and that isn’t going to change in the next few months… or even years. I know I can’t put my life entirely on hold to help her, but I also can’t ask you to wait for me. It’s not fair to you.”

  “Let me decide what’s fair to me.” He leaned back on the table, his blue eyes intense. “I’m not going to lie. It fucking hurt when you didn’t call, even if I understand the reasoning behind it now. Every single time someone has walked away from me, I’ve let them do it because chasing after them…” He shook his head. “I have my pride, you know?”

  “I know,” she whispered.

  “Except I don’t when it comes to you. If I have to choose between my pride and you, it’s you, Kendall. I know it’s too soon for this shit, and I know you have more than enough to deal with without worrying about me, too, but what I’m trying to say is that I’ll wait as long as it takes. I’ve never had a connection with another person the way I do with you, and I’m not willing to give it up just because things aren’t lined up ideally right from the get-go.” He shifted. “So what I’m asking you is if you’re willing to try, too?”

  She couldn’t believe he was saying the things she hadn’t dared hope for. She cleared her throat, and then had to do it again. “You’ll end up resenting me.”

  “I won’t.” Alex shook his head. “We just need clear communication and some time.”

  A weightless feeling blossomed in her chest. “My sister bought a restaurant that needs to be completely renovated and then someone has to run it. That will take years, Alex. I don’t know if I’ll be leaving Ruby Creek anytime soon.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe things will go well and I’ll end up here helping you with that.” He threw it out so casually, as if it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility. “We won’t know until we try. That’s all I’m asking, Kendall. Just try with me.” He looked away and then back to her.
“Unless you don’t want to. If that’s the case, then no hard feelings. You won’t hear from me again.” It cost him to get the words out. She could see that.

  “Alex.” Kendall stepped closer, looking up at him. “If you really mean it…”

  “I do.”

  “Then yes. Yes, I want to try.”

  He wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her against his chest. “Thank fuck.”

  “I missed you. It doesn’t make sense how much I missed you.” She slid her arms around his neck. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  He smiled. “I have about a week before I need to be back in Dawson’s Creek. I’ll do what I can to help in the meantime.”

  Her chest ached and felt melty, all at the same time. “I love you,” she blurted. “I know it’s too soon and that it’s nuts but—”

  Alex cut her off with a kiss. It wasn’t a polite kiss, either. Not one designed to shut her up before she dug herself a deeper hole. No, he kissed her like he’d been waiting to hear those words his entire life and she’d just fulfilled his wish. When he finally lifted his head, she had to cling to him to keep her feet. “I love you, too. I don’t care if it’s too soon. It’s the damn truth. This is a once in a lifetime kind of connection, and I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure we have a happy future together, no matter how long I have to wait.”

  Thank you so much for reading Kendall and Alex’s story! They’re very special to me, and I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them. If you did, please consider leaving a review!

  If you’re looking for something a little more villainous in your life, please consider checking out my series Wicked Villains. It begins with DESPERATE MEASURES, which is a dark erotic romance between Jafar and Jasmine that starts out with her bargaining and losing everything to him…including herself.