His Forbidden Desire Read online

  No one knew the others.

  They’d worked hard to ensure that was the case, to banish their flawed selves and project a public persona so dangerous, it would warn off smaller threats while the Horsemen grew in power. They succeeded.

  And yet this man, this Irish mob lackey from Boston, somehow knew Kenzie’s name.

  “Get her name out of your mouth.”

  Liam smiled bitterly. “And that is why I’m here.”

  He wanted Kenzie.

  No.

  Fuck no.

  Luca started forward, only to pull up short when Liam shifted the blade against Cami’s throat. “Remember yourself, Famine. I don’t want to hurt her, but I will if it comes to that.” Desperation and determination laced his tone, a potent combination.

  For her part, Cami remained eerily calm. “What do you want with Kenzie?”

  “That’s between us.”

  Lies. This man wanted what every man wanted from Kenzie. To possess her, to have her on their arm, to shove her into a little box in their life where she would be a trapped thing and die a little more each day. His sister had fought too hard for her freedom to submit, to be forced to submit.

  They all had.

  Luca took another step. “She’s not for you.”

  “I repeat—that’s between us.”

  Cami sent Luca a sharp look that he couldn’t decipher. She placed a soft hand on Liam’s wrist. “If you care about her, do you really think this is the way to go about it?” She turned in Liam’s grasp and he let her. Luca couldn’t see her expression from where he stood, but he had a feeling it was all sweetness and sincerity. Her voice radiated sympathy. “Wouldn’t it be better to—” Cami hit him in the throat. She was too close to do the kind of damage that would be preferable, but Luca jumped forward and knocked the knife out of Liam’s hand. Cami ducked out of the way, and Luca punched him in the face. Once. Twice. A third time.

  Liam hit the ground, his hands at his throat.

  “Did you crush his windpipe?”

  “Of course not.” Cami reached down, fished Liam’s beacon out of his shirt, grabbed one of his hands, and pressed his finger to engage it. “You should really just talk to her, Liam. She might surprise you.”

  “Now’s not the time for relationship advice.” Luca chose not to say that Kenzie would set herself on fire before she’d have the kind of conversation Liam seemed to be seeking. It was a problem for another day, and they had bigger concerns.

  There were only two competitors left, and they were both the Bookkeeper’s men.

  Well, technically there are three competitors left.

  He looked around, belatedly registering that he hadn’t been worried about cameras in far too long. Not since the cavern. They’d walked and spoken and fucked around and it was entirely possible—probable even—that most of what had happened since they left the cavern had been witnessed.

  Shit.

  “We need to move.”

  “Agreed.” Cami scooped up her pack and started unerringly north, leaving a gasping Liam in her wake. She didn’t look back to ensure Luca followed her, didn’t give Liam another concern now that he was removed from the competition.

  Fuck, but Luca loved her.

  He rocked back on his heels, the inconvenient realization nearly sending him to his knees. No, you’re wrong. You want her, and yeah, you respect that she’s a lot more capable than you ever gave her credit for, but … Love? Impossible.

  Isn’t it?

  “Luca?”

  He gave himself a shake and followed, ignoring the murderous look Liam sent him. The man would have to figure his shit out, but Luca would sure as hell be warning Kenzie. He glanced around. Or maybe she already knew. If Liam knew enough to know her name …

  A worry for another day. He couldn’t afford to dwell on it, not with the end of the Hunt bearing down on them and his betrayal sitting like a rock in his stomach. The very thing he’d wanted to avoid—Dolph getting his hands on Cami—was the only outcome that wouldn’t completely fuck Amarante’s plan beyond all recognition. Their plan. They needed the Bookkeeper, and they’d never been this close to tempting him onto the island before. If they blew this chance, it could be years before they worked up to it again.

  It might never happen.

  And all the while, more children would go missing, prey to the sick games those bastards liked to play.

  No.

  Loving Cami couldn’t push him to stray from this path. The stakes were too high, there were people depending on him that he couldn’t let down. Children he’d never met, their innocence burned away by a trauma he knew all too well. What was that compared to Cami’s inevitable hate?

  It shouldn’t even be a consideration. He knew that. Even being tempted to change the plan was the height of selfishness, and unforgivable in its own way.

  They walked for close to an hour before Cami stopped and faced him. “Why didn’t you let Yael come to you?”

  Luca stopped short. “What?”

  “I get not wanting to go back to Thalania. I understood that even before I met you. I think everyone did, to some degree. What I don’t understand is why you never let Yael come here to see you, not even once. She’s your grandmother.”

  He didn’t want to talk about this, didn’t want to drag out the ugliness even further. It felt like ever since he’d entered the Wild Hunt, the only thing hunting was his past hunting him. He still answered her. It was the least he could do considering what came next. Luca looked around, but by some stroke of luck, they weren’t any cameras present. Maybe that was why he answered Cami. “She’s a woman I could barely remember.”

  “If you don’t want to answer, then don’t answer. But don’t lie to me. You were ten when you were taken—old enough to have some memory of her.”

  He sighed. “You know her.”

  “I know her,” she confirmed.

  “I spent most of my first decade with her in the Nibley house. My parents were more into playing petty politics in Thalania than they were in raising a kid, so she was all I had. Most of my important memories were tied to her.” He didn’t want to keep going, didn’t want to speak this unspeakable thing, but Cami simply stood there with an open expression, waiting for the truth, and he could give her nothing less. “I couldn’t face her. Not after what happened, what I did, what was done to me.”

  Cami didn’t say anything, so he kept going, trying to find the words to make her understand. “Yael—my grandmother—values strength and cunning above all else. Those are the gods she worships. She drilled into me from birth that we use those skills to protect those around us. It’s our duty, the reason we were born into a family of influence.” He finally looked at Cami. “I didn’t protect those kids. I killed … So many of them. In the end, I couldn’t even protect myself. If it wasn’t for Amarante, I would have died in one of those pits, too.”

  “You were ten when they took you, Luca. You can’t honestly be expected to act the part of a savior when you were a child.”

  “I was a Nibley.” He said it simply, a truth that used to be his truth. “I should have figured out a way. She would have figured out a way.”

  Cami stared at him a long time. “Promise me something.”

  He already knew what she wanted. “It won’t solve anything. It’s been too long.” He didn’t even know what he’d say if he was in the same room as his grandmother again. They were strangers to each other. Worse than strangers, really, because they used to be family.

  “Luca …” Cami took a deep breath. “She’s dying. She has less than a year. If you don’t see her soon, you won’t have the chance to do it at all.”

  Yael … dying?

  It seemed impossible. His grandmother had always been larger than life, both when Luca was a child and later as an adult when she’d set her sights on bringing him home. She hadn’t succeeded, but she’d tried for far longer than anyone could have anticipated. She was still trying if Cami’s presence on the island was any indic
ation. “I can’t promise that I’ll see her.”

  “Promise me you’ll consider it—really consider it.”

  He started to shut her down, but forced himself to check his knee-jerk reaction. He could promise to consider it, truly consider it. It was the least he could do. “I promise.”

  “Thank you.” She crossed to him and took his hands. “I know it doesn’t guarantee anything, but thank you for at least considering it. I think she might surprise you if you give her half a chance.”

  He couldn’t consider for long, not if Yael was truly edging into the end of her life.

  Luca put it away. He couldn’t do anything in the next few days, not until the Hunt was over, and after that things would move quickly. Once the Bookkeeper was dealt with and they had their next steps mapped out … Then he’d see. “Let’s keep moving.”

  “Okay.”

  It was only later, as the sun edged toward the horizon, that Luca thought about the fact Cami hadn’t once asked him what the plan was.

  15

  Cami lay in the dark and listened to Luca climb to his feet. She’d known this was coming. Maybe not this, exactly, but something. He’d been too quiet all day. As tempted as she was to chalk it up to the uncomfortable conversation about Yael, she knew better, the real turning point was when they knocked Liam out of the Hunt.

  There were only two other competitors left, and they were both part of the alliance she’d noted. If Luca wasn’t meant to win, then it was only logical that one of them had to.

  It still hurt to hear him walk away from their makeshift camp, and it fucking hurt to know he didn’t trust her enough to tell her his plans.

  Would she have altered her course if he had?

  Cami had no answers. Playing the what-if game served no purpose. She couldn’t think about what might have happened, because she had to deal with what had happened. Luca left her. More, she had no doubt that the other men would find her sooner, rather than later, and likely at Luca’s hand.

  It cut deeper than she could have anticipated, and she had anticipated it.

  She lay there for a long time, long after she should have moved, considering her next step. If there was a trap, she had no intention of walking into it, but charging out into the night was a good way to end up in a pit or a cage. Instead, Cami waited for first light to rise and quickly pack her things up.

  He should have asked me to help.

  If he’d just trusted me …

  What would she have done? Given up her chance at freedom for him?

  Cami paused. Maybe. In the end, she lived a life of privilege and even if she hadn’t found other avenues to accomplish what she wanted—a way to make both a clean break and maintain her relationship with her family—she wasn’t selfish enough to ignore what Luca’s aims would accomplish.

  The people who stole him away from his family as a child were never caught. Neither were the monsters who frequented that place. They hadn’t simply gone out of business and morphed into upstanding citizens because they shut down one of their locations. No, they’d moved shop, and likely had several times in the intervening years. Who knew how many children they’d hurt in the meantime?

  How could her freedom—her happiness—compare with that?

  Luca hadn’t trusted her, had set her up to act the part of a fool and …

  Cami stopped short.

  Did it matter?

  To her heart … absolutely. Her chest felt like he’d carved out part of it with a rusty spoon. Breathing hurt. Moving hurt. Everything hurt. She wanted to track him, to yell at him, to make him see what a fool he was being.

  This wasn’t just about Cami’s feelings, though. Even if she didn’t like the means, there was more at stake, had always been more at stake. Was she really willing to burn it all to ash simply because Luca had somehow gotten close enough to break her heart?

  Unbidden, Yael’s voice echoed through her thoughts. We protect, Princess. It’s our role in life, no matter what path our feet take.

  Protect.

  She’s always taken that to mean her people, the citizens of Thalania, but what if Cami’s path actually lay elsewhere? Wasn’t that what she always wanted, what she’d fought so hard for? This was her chance to ensure it happened, to actually do some real good in the world.

  She just had to give up everything to do it.

  Without another thought, she turned and headed for the northern extraction point. If she was going to be caught, she wanted to be in their possession as little time as possible. It was still a risk, and the thought of all the ways it could go wrong left her breathless. She didn’t have a better option. Maybe if Luca had stayed, they could have planned it better, but he didn’t.

  She was on her own.

  Cami let anger guide her steps. She forced herself not to move quietly, to blunder through the trees as if this was her first time away from civilization. God, she hated this, hated that she was reduced to this, hated that Luca put her in this position in the first place.

  If he’d just talked to her …

  No use going down that rabbit hole of grief yet again. He hadn’t talked to her. He’d left to ensure his goals were realized. He’d betrayed her. End of story.

  Hours passed as she walked in a meandering path, weaving back and forth in sweeping arcs that even someone who’d never tracked a person in their life could follow. The faint light of morning shifted to sticky heat and a humidity thick enough to choke her. She gradually made her way to the coast again, emerging from the jungle in nearly the same spot she’d entered it a few days ago. She was a mile, maybe a little less, south of the extraction point. From this position, she could even see the smaller island perched to the north-east, a glittering gem of paradise. A reminder of the influence the Horsemen brought to the game, of how none of this was ever left up to chance.

  Of how Cami never actually stood a chance of winning.

  Shame clawed through her chest, merging with humiliation. They’d made a fool out of her, something she could have forgiven if not for how Luca personally made a fool out of her. There were cameras all over this island. Had he intentionally seduced her …

  No.

  No.

  She couldn’t think like that. She was angry and hurting, and it swayed her thinking. Luca might be an asshole, but he wasn’t a monster. No matter how he self-identified because of his past. He hadn’t wanted to want her—he’d made that more than clear. The betrayal was planned, the sex was not. Cami had to believe that.

  She swiped her forearm across her forehead. How close could she get to the extraction point without it being suspicious?

  She never got the answer.

  A man stalked out of the trees, taking nearly the same path she had. Tracking her. He was covered in camouflage paint, smears or green and brown and black that masked his tan skin and blond hair. It didn’t mask the menace rolling off him in waves. He smiled, a shock of white teeth against the muddied colors of his skin. “Hello, Princess.”

  Dolph.

  She stopped thinking.

  She stopped planning.

  Cami dropped her pack and bolted across the sand.

  She barely made it three steps before he was on her, snagging her around the waist and yanking her back against his body. “Now, now. You can’t leave the party before it even starts.” He shifted and she had no doubt in her mind that he was marking the sun’s location in the sky. “We’re close enough to the extraction point that we can afford to take our time.” He lowered his face and whispered in her ear. “It’s almost like you wanted this.”

  She froze, cold truth striking her in the face. All this time, she’d imagined herself a fox or some other clever animal. One to be underestimated as she tricked and manipulated her way to a win.

  The truth?

  She was a rabbit with her leg in a trap.

  It took everything she had to keep her voice from shaking. “If you touch me, I’ll kill you.”

  “I’m touching you right now, Princess.�
�� He squeezed her hip as if to remind her exactly how trapped she was. Worse, she could feel evidence of his arousal against her back.

  No.

  She had almost made her peace with losing the Hunt. She would not make her peace with this. The price was too high.

  Cami took a slow breath and forced her body to go soft. Her knife was still in its sheath at her hip, but if she killed him, that would mean this whole thing was for nothing. There had to be a better way. If she hurt him badly enough that she could guarantee she’d reach the extraction point first … The time hadn’t run out. Even if she was there, she wouldn’t win, but by the time he caught up with her, he would win.

  It wasn’t a great plan. It wasn’t even a good plan.

  It was still the only shot she had.

  Thigh wound, she decided. As long as she didn’t hit the femoral artery, he should live. Cami started to turn in his arms, but he tightened his grip. “Ah ah. It’s better this way.”

  Do not panic. Breathe. Stay soft.

  It was the hardest thing she’d ever done. She shivered, and that reaction was apparently exactly what Dolph was waiting for. His hand went to the front of her pants.

  A switch flipped in her brain and everything went sharp and clear. Cami grabbed her knife and stabbed him in the thigh, twisting it as she withdrew. He cursed but didn’t let her go.

  She stabbed him again. Then she switched hands and stabbed his other leg three times in quick succession.

  Dolph fell to the ground behind her and she didn’t pause to look back and check on the damage. She just ran. She ran as if the very hounds of hell were on her heels. They might as well have been. If Dolph caught her again, he’d kill her this time. She had no illusions about that.

  She risked a look over her shoulder. She couldn’t help it.

  He wasn’t on the ground any more. He staggered after her, a splotchy trail of red in his wake and her murder in his eyes.

  Faster, Cami.

  Luca had every intention of finding and dealing with Dolph—permanently. It was a risk. Killing Dolph left only one competitor—Edward—and if the man wasn’t savvy enough to track Cami, it would all be for naught. He didn’t care. It was worth it to ensure Dolph didn’t get his hands on Cami. Even now, even while orchestrating things so that she would lose the Hunt, he couldn’t let something happen to her. Not something permanent. No matter what she thought about the future, Cami would be okay. She had more resources than most people—and that was without the inheritance and the influence of Thalania behind her.