The Bastard's Bargain Page 18

  “I never found it scary.” He shrugged. “It’s home. It’s always been home. Though I suppose it looks that intimidating from the outside.” He hesitated as if considering imparting something else, but finally nodded almost to himself. “It reminds me a bit of my father, to be perfectly honest.”

  A piece of personal information? Talk about striking gold! She strove to keep her tone nonchalant. “Oh?”

  “He was forbidding. It’s not easy to hold a territory, let alone to build one, and he wasn’t interested in compartmentalizing. Everything was for the good of the family, whether it was good for the individual or no.”

  “I’m familiar with the sentiment.” Her father had been the same, though she didn’t get the same angsty feeling from Dmitri that she got from most of her siblings. Seamus O’Malley was a piece of shit, and he was more than happy to pave his way to more power on the backs of his children. Their mother wasn’t much better, but she at least threw them an emotional bone every once in a while. “You loved him?”

  “Love is a strange word. It calls to mind a particular feeling, which I don’t associate with my father, but I suppose I did.” Another shrug. “I respected him. I realized early on that his actions ensured the safety of our family and our men, and I watched closely so that I would be able to do the same when the time came.”

  So much responsibility to toss onto a kid. “How old were you?”

  “Ya ne znayu. Eight. Perhaps ten.”

  Keira froze. “You…That’s very young.” At eight and ten she was still firmly a kid and enjoying something resembling an idyllic childhood as Devlin’s sidekick. Her older siblings had felt the weight of their duty earlier than she had as youngest, but even Seamus held off screwing with them until they were old enough to be useful—high school, at least.

  “Don’t pity me, Keira. It wasn’t a bad life as such things go.”

  “Sure, but saying that it could be worse is silly. It could just as easily have been better.” She did some quick math in her head. “Was Olivia around at that point?”

  “Da. Though her mother was kept away for the most part, so I didn’t see much of her until years later.”

  How incredibly lonely. At least her house had been filled with her siblings. Dmitri had only had himself. Keira gave herself a mental shake. He didn’t want her pity, and whatever his childhood had been like, it was the past now. She couldn’t go back and change it. She shouldn’t even want to.

  Dmitri swirled his sparkling water. “In a way, it’s a good thing that Olivia fled to Cillian. They’re bound to give Hadley more siblings to grow up with. There will be cousins as well.” He met her gaze. “Your brother isn’t your father.”

  “You don’t have to tell me that.” Not too long ago, she’d wondered if Aiden would follow in Seamus’s footsteps—his actions had sure as fuck indicated that he’d do exactly that—but he’d shifted gears and was taking steps that she’d never expected. “It’s only a matter of time before he and Charlie start popping out kids, too.” Though they wouldn’t start until the biggest threats to the O’Malleys were taken care of. She knew Aiden well enough to know that.

  “Da.” He slid his plate aside. “Do you want children, Keira?”

  “Do I have a choice?” she fired back—and instantly regretted it. They were actually having a nice time, and she had to fuck with it. Every single time. I am not a possession.

  Dmitri watched her closely. “I won’t force you there any more than I’d force you to have sex. It’s your choice. It’s always been your choice.”

  He might say that, but it couldn’t be clearer what his priorities were. The dynasty. The family. Though, for the first time, Keira had to wonder if Dmitri’s insistence on children was motivated—at least in part—by growing up alone in this massive house. A family would fill up the echoing space much more effectively than all his men combined.

  She had to look away and then felt like the worst kind of coward for doing it. “Not yet. Not while the Eldridges are still out there and gunning for us.”

  “I won’t let her have you.”

  She glanced back at him. “Which her?” Mae was scary, but she seemed to look at every problem as if it was a nail for her to hammer. One size fit all. Alethea had cunning if she was able to outsmart Dmitri for this long, and that was a special kind of terrifying because it meant they didn’t know where she’d strike next.

  The fact he thought they’d be coming for her spoke volumes. She frowned. “Why do you think they’ve focused on me?” There had been the drive-by shooting back when she was still living in Boston, but that could have just as easily been aimed at Charlie—or Carrigan for that matter.

  This time, Dmitri looked away, which sent alarm bells pealing through her head. She straightened. “Something happened that you haven’t told me about.”

  He sighed. “Mae had a gift delivered last week.”

  A gift. Whatever it was, he’d gone almost pale when he mentioned it, so it had to be bad. She took half a second to consider whether she really wanted to know. Yes, I have to know what I’m facing. If I want to be an actual partner, I have to be able to handle it. “Tell me.”

  He hesitated, but almost immediately relented. “She killed a girl who looks remarkably similar to you…and sent me her head.”

  “Her head?” Her voice squeaked and she had to take a shallow breath. “That crazy bitch cut off some poor girl’s head and sent it to you.” She tried to process that, tried to wrap her mind around the level of evil Mae Eldridge had to possess to think that was a legitimate step. Keira stared at the half-eaten food on her plate, feeling sick. “Have you ever done something like that?”

  “Killed an innocent to threaten another? Nyet. Murder is a last resort—never a threat.”

  Which wasn’t to say he hadn’t murdered someone before. She considered that, and then compared it to what she knew of how her family operated. Keira couldn’t say for sure that Aiden’s hands were perfectly clean of blood, and she knew for a fact Cillian’s weren’t. “Would you have killed Olivia’s ex if you’d gotten to him before Cillian did?”

  Dmitri met her gaze steadily. “Do you want to know the truth or the pretty lie?”

  “The truth.”

  “I would have made an example of him thoroughly enough that no one would have come near her for the rest of her life.”

  She should have been horrified. But all Keira could think was that maybe that would have been better than Cillian shooting the fucker. Killing him had left its mark on her brother, and she would have spared him that if she could have. He had protected Olivia and Hadley—and he would have done it all again if it came down to it—but the killing had changed him.

  She set her napkin aside. “You almost killed James Halloran because my sister chose him over you.”

  “Nyet.” A sharp shake of his head. “She broke her word to me, and I clearly outlined the consequences of doing so.” He shrugged one shoulder. “James’s brother would have struck regardless of whether he thought he had my support. If your sister hadn’t broken her word, he wouldn’t have had my support. It’s a simple as that.” His lips quirked. “I can’t say I’m sorry she did, though.”

  If she hadn’t, it would have been Carrigan sitting across from Dmitri right now instead of Keira. Maybe she should be bothered by that, but what-ifs didn’t matter—only what actually happened. Dmitri and Carrigan hadn’t so much as kissed, and who gave a fuck even if they had?

  Me. I’d give a fuck.

  She swallowed hard and stood. “Then there’s—”

  “Moya koroleva, are you going to insist on laying every one of my sins out in the open? There are many, even if you’re only listing the ones associated with your family.” He stood as well. “The O’Malleys were a threat and I proceeded accordingly. It became personal over time, but it didn’t start that way.”

  She licked her lips, her gaze dragging over his suit. It fit him well, hugging his shoulders and tapering to his narrow waist. She wanted it
on the floor. Keira took a deep breath and tried to focus. “If you could go back and do it again, would you?”

  “I don’t make a habit of second-guessing myself.”

  “That’s not an answer.” He always spoke like that when he didn’t want to answer a question directly, and it made her crazy. He made her crazy, though she still wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

  Dmitri shook his head. “I don’t have an answer for you. Did I underestimate your family repeatedly? Da. But if you think for a second that I regret the path that brought us to this moment—with you as my wife—then you’re mad.” He rounded the corner of the table and took her hand, tugging her against him. “I would commit unforgivable sins as long as it ensured this same endgame. I will make no apologies for that, Keira. Not a single fucking one.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Dmitri waited for Keira’s condemnation. He expected it, considering what he’d just admitted. Perhaps he should have played things smarter, should have wooed her with soft words and sincere promises, should have kissed her to distract from their conversation and let things progress physically from there.

  That wasn’t who he was.

  He didn’t hide in the shadows. He didn’t flinch at what was required of him. He simply took care of business and moved on.

  Still, it was a small leap of faith to lay that before her so baldly. She was right to accuse him of the shit he’d done to her family, because it was all true. He made no apologies, though. They brought him to her, and she was worth every single action. Despite everything, he’d never directly hurt a single person she cared about, and that was the only thing he couldn’t come back from.

  Keira ran her hands down his chest and back up again. “I don’t know if I’m more disgusted with myself or with you that none of that is enough to make me turn away.”

  He exhaled slowly. “There is no turning away from this.” It wasn’t strictly true, but she fit too well into this life to do anything else. She’d had her chance to get out—several of them over the years—and she’d never taken that step. Because she didn’t want to.

  That, at least, he was sure of.

  “Then I suppose I had better embrace it.” She undid his top button slowly and dragged her fingertips down to the next to repeat the action. “I’m still not sure I like you very much.”

  “No lies between us.” He trapped her wrists, holding her hands against him. “You like me very much.”

  She blinked those big hazel eyes at him. “I like parts of you, at least.”

  Dmitri laughed, the sound surprising him. “I suppose a man has to start somewhere.”

  “I know the perfect place.” She extracted her hands from his grasp and undid his slacks.

  Keira started to go to her knees, but he caught her elbows and kept her on her feet. “Nyet, moya korleva. You are a motherfucking queen, and you go to your knees for no man—not even me.”

  She tilted her head to the side even as she slid her hand into his slacks and grasped his cock. “You were just on your knees for me less than twenty-four hours ago.”

  And he’d loved every single fucking second of it. “That’s different,” As she was so fond of pointing out, he had all the power and she only had what he gave her. His going into a temporarily submissive position changed nothing. Her newfound role was too fragile, and he refused to do something to create a repeat of the night before. He’d already misjudged things and spooked her—several times. He wouldn’t allow it to happen again.

  “Dmitri Romanov, are you trying to handle me?” She kept one hand on his cock, casually stroking, and flattened the other against his chest.

  “That would be unwise of me.” Even if it was exactly what he was doing.

  “Yes, it would.” She exerted the slightest bit of pressure, backing him up a step, and then another, until he felt the chair behind him. “Sit, boy.”

  “Keira—”

  “Think twice before you say whatever you’re about to say.” She gripped his cock harder and leaned into him, the rhinestones of her dress pressing hard against his chest. “Sit down, Dmitri. Sucking your cock isn’t going to magically make me something I’m not, and I’m dying for a taste of you.”

  His chest tightened in something he couldn’t put into words. “That’s not what was on the menu.”

  “One little blow job isn’t going to ruin your ability to own my pussy for the night.” She kissed his neck, speaking her next words against his skin. “But it is going to have me aching for you even more than I already am. Be good and sit down right now, and I’ll hold off fingering myself while I suck you.”

  “You aren’t a woman. You’re a goddamn siren.”

  “Da.” She pushed him again, and this time he let her guide him back into the chair. Keira braced herself on the back of the chair and gave him a few more strokes. “It’s really not fair that you have a perfect cock in addition to everything else. I mean, I know being a gentleman-murderer is a check in the negative column, but the balance is still in your favor.” She let go of him and lifted the hem of her dress enough that she was able to go to her knees between his thighs.

  With her this close, he didn’t bother to resist the temptation to cup her breasts and tease her nipples with his thumbs. “My perfect cock is at your disposal.”

  “I know.”

  The words, simply stated, shot through him. Dmitri tipped her chin with two fingers. “I’m yours, Keira, and you are mine.”

  She gave a sexy little smirk. “I won’t freak out again. Now stop stalling. Sit back and shut up while I have some fun.”

  He laughed again. “Do your worst.”

  “I intend to.” She gripped his cock and licked the tip, her gaze never leaving his face. “Tell me something.”

  “Mmm.”

  “What does moya koroleva mean?”

  She could have looked it up easily enough, but he liked that she was pushing him for the translation. He laced his fingers through her hair and pulled it back from her face so he had a clear view. “It means ‘my queen.’”

  Her victorious grin was reward enough. “Oh, Dmitri, I’m going to make it so good for you. You don’t even know.” Before he could respond, she sucked his cock into her mouth.

  His thoughts shorted out. Fuck, his ability to do anything but sit there and take what she was doing to him disappeared. Keira went after his cock as if she truly needed it. She gently dragged her teeth up him and then flicked his head with her tongue. Seeing her red, red lips closed around his length was an image he’d never forget until the day he died.

  She pinned him with her gaze, the defiance in her eyes telling him she knew the effect she had on him. Dmitri fought to keep his eyes open and not miss a single second of this experience. He smoothed his thumbs over her temples as he shifted his grip on her hair. “You’re as beautiful like this as you are doing everything you do.”

  She moved off his cock just enough to say, “You’re pretty beautiful like this, too, Dmitri.”

  “Dima.”

  She paused. “Dima?”

  He couldn’t believe he was saying this, but the words were pulled from him, as slow and sticky as taffy. “The people I care about call me Dima.”

  “Dima.” She said it as if tasting it. Tasting him. Keira flashed him a brilliant smile. “I like it. Now stop distracting me and let me have my filthy way with you.”

  * * *

  Keira sucked Dmitri’s cock like her life depended on it. Easier to focus on the feel of his thick length in her mouth and throat than to try to unpack her feelings about his allowing her to call him Dima. Dima. The name didn’t fit…and yet it did. Dmitri was cold and distant, the man she’d known up until moving in with him. Dima was…something else altogether. Dima was the quiet pain on his face when he caught her about to drink on the floor of her bathroom. Dima was the man who sat across the table from her and told her about his lonely childhood. Dima was his fingers in her hair and his face tense as he watched her give him the bl
ow job of a lifetime.

  She might not know how she felt about Dmitri, but she liked Dima a whole hell of a lot.

  Focus on the here and now. Deal with the rest later.

  Right now was about enjoying the feel and taste of him and very carefully not thinking too hard about anything else. She sucked harder, taking him deeper. More. I need more.

  “Keira. Moya koroleva. I’m close.”

  She knew. She could tell by the way his cock swelled against her tongue and his fingers tightened in her hair as if trying to maintain control. She released him, slow and steady, and the way relief warred with need would have made her laugh under different circumstances. “Dima.” Oh yes, she liked the way his name felt on her tongue.

  “Da?”

  He expected her to demand her orgasm before they had sex. She could tell from the hungry way his gaze fell to her breasts and then lower. He had wanted her for dessert, after all.

  Too damn bad.

  She gave his cock a slow stroke with her fist. “I want you to fuck my mouth. Come for me.”

  His gray eyes widened and then closed for a breath. “You will be the death of me.”

  “But what a way to go.” She grinned because she knew she had him. He wanted her pleasure, but he enjoyed the hell out of what she was doing to him, and there was something just downright dirty about her demand that he had to love as much as she did. “Up, Dima.”

  She scooted back a few inches and tugged on his cock. His brows slanted down. “You can’t simply use my name to get whatever you want whenever you want it.”

  “Can’t I?” Another tug and he pushed to his feet, his fingers still tangled in her hair. Looking up Dmitri’s body while she was on her knees had her pussy tightening in anticipation. Tonight wouldn’t end when he came the first time. From the forbidding expression on his face, he had all sorts of payback planned for her, and she couldn’t wait to experience it.